Being mindful of where you are and of those around you is the bedrock of good manners and etiquette. Do your best to always be kind and to do the right thing. You and everyone around you will ultimately benefit.
Behaviours We Can Avoid
It’s easy to notice other people’s mistakes; however, we often don’t recognise it when we commit the same error! Remember that everyone can make an etiquette faux pas once in a while … even etiquette specialists! The key to good manners is to not call out others. When we realize our own mistakes, we can make things much less awkward by apologizing for whatever it was, and move on. Following certain rules of etiquette is essential in both social and professional situations, so it is a good idea to learn from them. It can mean the difference between keeping or losing friends, or even missing out on a promotion. So, it is important is to learn what NOT to do. Here are a few tips on what to avoid:
Avoid Being Impolite, to Anyone
Being kind to others in all situations is the most important rule of etiquette you can follow. You may not know proper placement of dinnerware or which fork to use, but most people will forgive you for those small infractions. However, being rude to people is something that you may not be able to undo. People have long memories when they feel they’ve been wronged or treated badly. Politeness extends to everyone you come in contact with, from the doorman of your office or apartment building to yoiur boss and other company executives. Showing gratitude and respect to servers at restaurants, salesclerks, parking lot attendants, and TSA agents can make the difference in the service person’s day. Not being nice to these people shows a lack of character on your part and can result in poor service in return, or even detention!
Avoid Being Late
TIP: Pay attention to the time so you’re not late.
If you are one of those people who are chronically late, you are showing disrespect for other people’s time. When you agree to show up at a certain time, be there on time. If you are occasionally late you will probably be forgiven if it is not something you do often. Always call and let someone know your circumstances and your estimated time of arrival. Try to avoid being late at all cost or you might not get invited to do things with friends, or your behaviour may get you overlooked at promotion time – no matter how high your sales are …
Avoid Failing to Introduce Others
TIP: Don’t forget to introduce people who don’t know each other.
When you are with two people who don’t know each other, you should always introduce them. If you can’t remember their names, politely say something like, “I’m sorry. I’m having a “moment” and I can’t recall your name.” Then be sure to use the person’s name during the introduction and afterward in conversation to help you remember for next time. If you can include something you discussed with that person in the past, it will surely soften the fact that you forgot his or her name.
Avoid Being On The Phone While in The Company of Others
TIP: Don’t be rude with your cell phone in public.
Always give the people you are with your full attention. Turn off your phone to avoid the temptation of glancing at your phone if it buzzes. If that isn’t possible and if you must take a call, or an immediate response is called for, politely excuse yourself to take the call and keep the disruption brief. Then when you return, apologize. Refrain from making a habit of taking calls or texting when you’re with someone. Never be on a phone call while dining alone at a restaurant, and especially never have the phone on speaker! That is rude and frustrating for other diners.
Try NOT Being Self-Absorbed
TIP: Conversation should include everyone present.
When chatting with friends, family, or coworkers, give them equal time during the conversation. If you have a pattern of making the discussion all about you, you may discover people walking a wide berth around you or running the other way when they see you coming. You don’t want people to see you as narcissistic or self-absorbed. The best way to have a decent conversation with someone is to ask questions about him or her and then be attentive. If you are a good listener, chances are the person will turn around and ask you questions. Back-and-forth conversation is much more enjoyable for both parties and will gain you favor among people you care about.
Forgetting to be Thankful
TIP: Always show your gratitude when someone does something nice for you
When someone gives you a gift or does something special for you, always show your gratitude. Immediately say, “Thank you.” When you get home, send a brief thank you note. If time gets away from you, don’t let that be an excuse to ignore what you should have already done. Send a thank you note as soon as possible.
Join the Tribe and let us know in the comment section below some of your own observations.
We can all learn from the experience of others.
With kind regards,
The QuinntE Tribe